funny facebook statuses

Hitler may not have been such an asshole if everybody hadn`t kept leaving him hanging for all his high fives.

real friends don`t judge each other
they judge other people together.

Me after just cleaning my room: Wow, I am never letting my room get messy again!

The next day: has anyone seen my bed

The winky face always makes everything seem dirtier then it really is ;)

When you spell a word so wrong that spell check is like i dont know what to tell u man

Before Marriage

Girl : You are crazy
Boy : Just For You baby

After Marriage

Girl : You are Crazy
Boy : Just Because Of You :D

This day is moving slower than a snail moving backwards on a turtle moving forward

Friends:wow, your parents are so nice!
Me: that`s because you`re here

you`re as relevant as the letter "K" in knife

my mom likes to play this game called yell from four rooms away and get upset when I can’t hear her