funny facebook statuses

What the letter O say to the letter Q?
Bro, your dick is hanging out

*Boyfriend and girlfriend showering together*
Girl: "Baby I want you to do bad things to me"
Guy: *Puts shampoo in her eyes*

whats 6.9? a good thing stopped by a period;)

Even in darkness, light dawns for those who believe...

Just wanna take this moment and thank my mom for not aborting me and my dad for buying cheap condoms. Love you guys

Marijuana is a gateway drug, it lead me to McDonalds.

Don`t ever be a victim of your own life. Don`t come to me with "I can`t do it because of something/someone" bullshit. You are in charge.

Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago.

Figure it out people. It`s a 4-way stop sign not a woman

Sending a sweet message to your crush and the she sends it to her crush.