Pick a facebook status

Everytime my school soccer team plays a game, I wish them good luck and say, "Go kick Some Balls!"

I really Enjoy Looking at someone cool n dashing.... But when I get Tired...I put the mirror dowN!!

A good friend helps you when you need, a smart friend asks you for help.

After being married for 30 years, a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her and said, "You`re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H.... ummmm ...I, J, K."
She asks "What does that mean darling?"
He said, "Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Fabulous, Gorgeous, Hot."
She smiled happily and said. "Oh, that`s so lovely... What about I, J, K?"
He said, "I`m Just Kidding!"

D.R.A.M.A = Dumb Retards Asking for More Attention.

That awkward moment when you ask if a woman is pregnant and she get offended.

You have the right to remain silent anything you say will be misquoted and used against you...

When you try to pick something up with your feet/toes beacuse your too lazy to bend down and pick it up with your hands.

I saw a sign today that read: Tiredness kills, take a break.
So I pulled over and went to sleep.
When I woke up I felt great and was ready to drive again.
I was 5 hours late for work though.

Some student does their project a few weeks before it`s due and ends up with an "A"
You do your project the day before it`s due and end up with an "A". Whut now?