Pick a facebook status

You were given one Heart, please use it wisely

LIKE IF: you make a loud noise in class laugh for 1 second. figure out nobody else is laugh and look around like.... what was that?

Teacher: "Did you do it?"
Kid: "No" (Kid Laughs)
Teacher: "Then why are you laughing?"
Kid: "Because, whoever did it is a freaking genius!"

Life’s a game, play it; Life is a challenge, meet it; Life is an opportunity, capture it.

I hate it when you think of a clever comeback AFTER the conversation is over.

When we are little we make our dad check for monsters in the closet, when we are adults we make our spouses check for Chuck Norris

honestly i rather someone tell me the truth then pretend!

Relationships Come With 1 Girl, 1 Boy , 1 Hoe Trying To Get The Boy .. 1 Nigga Trying To Get That Girl ; 1 Ex Trying To Ruin The Relationship And That One Friend Who Dont Like Who You` re Dating...

Here is my cup of care... \_/ ohh, look, its empty.

Officer to drunk boy : "How high are you?"
Drunk boy: No officer, its "Hi! How are you?"