Pick a facebook status

I`ll quit drinking when Taylor Swift stops writing songs about ex boyfriends.

Dont give up just because of what people said. Use that as your motivation to push harder.

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That awkward moment when you call your teacher "mom".

A guy in a mental hospital, placed two stones in his ears .. The doctor asked him, "What are you doing?" he replied, "I`m listening to ROCK music!"

Don’t fall into the trap of pretending everything is okay when you know it’s not.

ONE OF OUR GREATEST MISTAKES IN LIFE:
the crappy e-mail address we made when we were little

Teacher: Whoever answers my next question can go home. *Boy throws bag out the window* Teacher: Who threw that? Boy: Me, I`m going home

I predict the end of the world. It will be in September on an unknown day. Ya, you thought 2012 was scary. Wait until you experience the tragedy. It`ll be all over the news. I call this, The New Kardashian.

Me in 4th grade: Wow swearing is so bad I won`t ever swear! Me now: Pass the motherfuckin salt you bitch.