Pick a facebook status

That awkward moment when you`ve just logged in to your facebook account and your mum comes in and sits with you so you`re just like: (._.) (`-` ) ( ._.) (`-`) (o_o)

In my spare time, I go to the park and chase people around with a pair of underwear screaming "WAIT TIL I GET THESE HANES ON YOU"

That awkward moment when you are actually pulling a push door.

That awkward moment when there`s 5 seconds of nudity in a movie, and it`s exactly when your parents walk in.

I fucking hate people who curse for no fucking reason.

Do something right, no one remembers. Do something wrong, no one forgets.

Rumors are carried by haters, spread by fools, and accepted by idiots.

MY DEFINITION OF A CLEAN ROOM: A clear path from the door to my bed..

Hiding your favorite food from the rest of your family because you`re a selfish bitch.

*Throws book at someones face* "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!?!" "I just Facebooked you"