Pick a facebook status

Everybody hates Crocs but the company is worth over $2 billion? Some of you motherfuckers are lying.

*Ignores phone call* - Texts later: "You called?"

I sleep less, I`m tired. I sleep more, I`m tired..

True friends won`t grow apart even when they don`t talk everyday.

I`m 99% sure you dont like me. and I`m 100% sure I dont give a fuck.

If you don`t want a sarcastic answer, don`t ask a stupid question..

Don`t bother lying to a girl, they find out everything.

A Good Friend: Calls you in jail. A Great Friend: Will visit you in jail. YOUR BEST FRIEND: *BLOWS UP WALL* "GET IN THE VAN NOW!"

I dropped my laptop off the boat. It`s a Dell, rolling in the deep.

My home boy carlos got his car stolen we just call him los now