Pick a facebook status

when a cashier asks you if this is everything for you and you just wanna say, No I also want all this invisible shit in front of me.

a jealous woman does better research than the FBI.

You can close your eyes to things you don`t want to see, but you cant close you heart to thing you don`t want to feel . <3

On Mondays, I feel like I need
Coffee injected directly into my veins...

We live in a world where we are called haters from being honest.

Parents call it “talking back”, we call it “answering your question

(\_/)
( ‘_’)
(> )>o I was going to give you this cookie
U U

…(\_/)
…(‘_’ )
o<( <) But then I was like...
....U U

.(\__/)
.(O.O)
.(>o<) IT`S MY COOKIE!!!
..U U

(\_/)
( `_`)
(> )>o Then I said sharing is caring…
U U

…(\_/)
…(‘_’ )
o<( <) But then I was like...
...U U

.(\__/)
.(O.O)
.(>o<) I LIKE COOKIES TO MUCH TO SHARE!
..U U

(\_/)
(^_^)
(> <) So then I ate it…Sorry.

The awkward moment when someone takes your sarcasm seriously :P

You’re beautiful! until your Photoshop 30 day trial expires.

Not Wearing Socks #YOLO
Forever Alone #Solo
Marco #POLO
Condom Broke @OHNO
You Like Men #HOMO
Bitches is Hoes #FOSHO
Got No House #HOBO
Toy On A String #YOYO
Cold Outside? Drink Hot #COCO
Dont Get Caught By The #POPO
Can i touch ya boobs? #NONO