Pick a facebook status

The guy that discovered milk, I wonder what he was doing with that cow.

I`ve got the moves like Jagger ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That awkward moment when 2 people are talking to you at the same time and both of them are waiting for the other to stop.

The Awkward Moment When You`re At Your Friends House And You Stand In Front Of The Mirorr And Act Crazy , Suddenly You Got Her Goin On With You .....That`s How I Call It Friendship :)

*Crush steals food* heyy! *flirty push* *Regular person steals food* GIVE ME MY SHIT BACK B*TCH! *Drop kick*

The person who reads too much and uses his brain too little will fall into lazy habits of thinking.
—Albert Einstein

I wish my memories came with "√ Save", "ﾒ Delete" and "► Play" buttons.

I don`t care how comfortable Crocs are, you look like a dumbass wearing them.

Woman is your best friend but they can be your best enemy too..

That awkward moment when you are at a friends house and they get into a fight with their parents..