Pick a facebook status

Dear Facebook/Twitter, Thanks for killing my cell phone battery on a daily basis. Sincerely, Everyone.

-unknown

When i have kids i`m going to make them watch the 2012 movie & tell them, "Yup, i survived that!" ...

-unknown

They say you are what you eat! Well, I don`t remember eating Sexy Beast this morning.

-unknown

That mini heart attack when you trip on the stairs

-unknown

i don`t trust people often, so if i do, don`t make me regret it

-unknown

I eat so much... I make fat kids look skinny!

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I wish I had a easy button, for how easy you are!

-unknown

Every girl deserves a guy who can make her smile even when she doesn`t want to.

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I sleep too much. Parents complain. I don`t sleep enough. Parents complain. I don`t see a way to win here

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I hate when I`m trying to sleep & my mind says- You know what`s a great movie? Paranormal activity.

-unknown